For Bob M. who was brave enough to ask.
As an intro here:
Bob M is a local former weightlifter in my circle who follows this blog and who had a polite laugh and a serious question about my offer to write about how to put on a girdle. You see Bob had testicular cancer and did the dreaded hormone therapy as well as the cancer regime and as a result has developed a rather serious case of what are colloquially called “moobies” or “man boobs”. His question was how does he put on a gynocomastia aka “binder” top.
To try to quote him here:
“Hey, man, a lady can ask other ladies how to put on a girdle but a dude can’t just ask another dude how to put on a man bra.”
Well, Bob, I have an answer for you. Two actually.
First off let me note is that the whole point of these shirts is to compress your flesh. They are tight, they DO NOT give a lot and they need to be broken in. Sizing is critical. Get measured professionally if possible. If not be sure to do it right – measure at least twice as well.
These things are like evil boa constrictors that want to harm you, and even if you are a “normal” trying one on for the experience, it’s going to be hard the first time. If you are actually compressing something, it’s a lot harder.
Anyway, our first solution comes from trangender “transman” Alec from Washington. It’s the easier method in my opinion – and yes, I tried both with mixed and amusing – read as humiliating – results.
You place turn the binder inside out and hold it in front of your body with the compression panel facing away from you body.
Then you balance as well as you can – I braced with my back to a wall – and put BOTH legs through the head hole.
Next you pull the fabric up over your calves, thighs and butt until the shirts BOTTOM hem is around the top of your hips.
Now reach down and grab the arm loops and pull the shirt up over your chest turning it “inside in” in the process.
Insert your NON DOMINANT ARM through the sleeve hole first – you’ll need the stronger arm to finish this up – and then exhale fully and relax as much as you can.
As you do this stick your DOMINANT arm into the remaining sleeve hole and shrug the loop onto your shoulder.
Once both loops are over your shoulder, untwist the fabric as needed.
Finally reach up under the waist of the shirt and pull your man boobs or trans breasts downward for a flat appearance.
You can also push down from the neckline if that is easier.
The second method comes from cancer survivor Victor of Portland, Maine.
It’s the over the head method.
You do this the same way you’d do a tank top – but it is much harder and you can – repeat can – get stuck. I recommend having aid at hand. Embarrassment beats injury or death.
Start by putting your NON-DOMINANT arm into the sleeve hole.
Next put your DOMINANT arm into the sleeve hole.
Roll the shirt fabric -roll to the outside – up so that the neck hole is touching your chin.
Then quickly, and that is key, pull the shirt over your head and roll it down over your chest.
Again speed is key here. I got hung up twice and had to be released by a friend who was laughing so hard I doubt he could breathe either.
Once you have the binder on and firmly in place, again use your hands to pull the man boobs or breasts down toward your waist for a flatter profile.
That said, of the two methods I found the former quite a bit easier but it still took several tries, lots of swearing and grunting, some butt tucking, hard exhales, and two rescues to get one on.
Alec tells me the so called tri-tops – three quarter length shirts – are quite a bit easier than the tank I practiced with so maybe that will help as well.
Good luck, Bob. You’ll need it!
Next time – lawn mowers for the small yard urbanite.