So tonight I acted like an asshole. In fact, like on of the people I loathe most in the world.
Well, I was being careful – a man in Pakistan I did not know using a pseudonym – the name of a Muslim “saint” (I use the quotes not to disparage but because I do not know what Muslims call such people) initiated a chat with me that began with a statement that we would be the closest of friends.
I am inherently curious. I am not racist. I have nothing against Muslims. So all of that would have been cool, I suppose if he had not refused me his real name, or been so very aggressive in his statements of what I “was” going to do.
And it got weirder.
So what did I do. I thought paranoid thoughts…
1) What if this is the government testing me since I am not at all quiet about my discontent with many American thought processes and policies? Although I am actually more anti-American culture than anti-government. I do have problems with our health care system, legal system, ways of dealing with alternate gender/homosexuals, and issues with cellphone culture, helicopter parents and well, what I egotistically might call the irrational near functionality of our once great country.
(Oh, and flamers who are going to start shouting “Love it or leave it” you’ll be happy to hear that leave it is on the agenda. I bear you no ill will, do not indulge in overt activism, feel no real anger whatever, I just prefer not to stay at this level of growth myself anymore.)
So what if this is some sort of government loyalty test? Best to say as little as possible and cut this dude off.
- What if this is a hacker site or underworld test? Well, honestly I am too sick, too stupid, and to tired to be an activist. And I basically disagree with the activist philosophy anyway – or at least with the extremist forms. Hate to say it but these people are still committing one of my worst sins – making people things. Step in that mess and one side is making people “victims” – a thing category, and the other is making people “rebels” – still a thing category. So I mean do I want to give the impression I support that crap either? Answer is still “no”. If I ever meet a batch of people that believe in truth and honor and justice as powerful ideas and not just slogans, I’ll throw in with them at once, but I will not buy into any generalized, nonspecified agenda. Not even in the name of what is right. Sorry. So also still best to keep it short and cut the guy off.
- What if this is an Islamist militant (for real) stereotyping aside? Well, I definitely cannot support that shit. I don’t support any violent faction. I don’t support Jewish or Christian extremists either. But I don’t want to be seen as supporting this crap either. I know where I’m coming from, and that I support open communications, and so on, but I’m a weirdo iconoclast and anti-violent. So okay, hedge my bets and report the conversation to Facebook. And put up a post on my page covering my butt.
BUT WHAT IF THE REAL ANSWER WAS
4) I was talking to a lonely Pakistani gent who was awake when I was and who was nothing more or less than he seemed to be? If that is the case I did him a huge disservice and I am ashamed.
Of myself, of my culture – which makes thoughts like 1-3 not only possible but gives them precedence, and of the sorry state of the human race. If it was 4) I apologize. I am truly very sorry that I put “careful” afraid of “compassionate.”
And now dear readers, tell me what you would have done?