An Aspie’s Short Guide To Entering A Room Like A Boss


(A short practical guide for Aspies )

Have a dressing ritual.

  • NEVER sleep in your clothes for the next day. (I do this but never before a formal appt.)

  • Choose the clothes the night before.

  • Make sure they are clean and ironed if need be

  • Put them on your desk or on a door knob

  • Add accessories to the pile – watch, wallet, phone, socks, shoes

Do power poses.

  • Posturing in power positions actually increases hormones and chemicals that create a feeling of confidence. So making a muscle, posing like superman, spreading legs and hands out wide, open, dominant, big gestures really do make you feel powerful.

Distract from negative emotions.

  • Have a friend tell you a joke

  • Call you Mom/wife/girlfriend/best friend

  • Sing quietly

  • Pray

Know Before You Go”

  • Pe prepared.

  • Know who you are talking to – Google them, read their Facebook page, or know their ages, business, social class.

  • Know where to park and which door to use

  • Know the room if possible

Go to the bathroom.

  • General MacArthur was famous for saying “Never pass up a chance to take a pissE.” And science backs him up. People with empty bladders are more confident, more comfortable and more adaptable in all situations and especially when under stress. Every big Project should start with a pee.

Have a purpose.

  • MacArthur also said “No plan survives first contact with the enemy”. But you should still have one. If you enter a room for a reason than you are less likely to feel or act confused or restless.

Be ready to go the moment you arrive

  • Enter a room knowing what you want and how to get it. Say what you want to yourself or a friend before you even open the door. And believe that you can get it. Studies show that if you act like a winner, people treat you like one, and that makes you more likely to actually become one.

Enter with a smile.

  • Make it a real one. Think of something that makes you happy. Smiling people are more likely to be granted trust and favors, power and responsibility than grumpy or sad looking ones.

Straighten up

  • Standing straight makes you look taller, bigger, healthier and more confident.

  • Use the pencil test. Hold a pencil in each hand parallel to your legs (point forward). When you slouch the tips will turn inward.

Use your hands when speaking.

  • Contrary to popular belief – people who gesture are more readily accepted as honest, powerful, and respectable than people who do not gesture or who hide their hands.

Hold your breath before entering the room.

  • This expands your chest, straightens your shoulders, sends O2 to the brain and makes you look healthier and taller.

  • Exhale as you enter the room.

Take control of your surroundings.

  • Move a chair, rearrange a place setting, move a table. All these acts tell your brain you are safe and in control and that in turn makes you less fearful and more confidant.

Make eye contact.

  • Yes, hard, but in our culture, huge! We associate eye contact with trust in the West.

Eliminate filler words.

  • Do away with “um”, “like”, “uh-huh”, “anyway”. They have no meaning and people know it. People who use less are more likely to be liked, trusted, and viewed as smart according to research.

Focus on others.

  • Interestingly enough if you want to be a focal point in a room, be the guy who listens, who, talks less, who remembers names, who asks questions.


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