An Idiot Learns to Cook

So someone asked me recently where I learned to cook.

Well, like so many people these days, the short answer is that I am self-taught and I learned on the internet.

I also learned in a hurry.

In December of 2012, I was the original junk food junkie.

All, and I do mean all of my food, came in shiny bags, aluminum cans, or microwave boxes. There were no fruits, no veggies, no real meats, and defintely no fish. If you had asked me I would have told you that I hated all of those things.

But as it turns out, chips, sodas, cakes/pies, HungryMan β„’ dinners, and all the lovely colorful shiny packaged foods hated me because in January of 2013, I was in the hospital and I was not eating anything.


I spent 25 or 26 days ingesting nothing but water.

I have since tested for over 75 anaphylactic food allergies and over 150 chemical allergies.

So I eat precisely 20 foods. No condiments, no herbs, no spices, not even salt.

So it was learn to cook or starve.

I started my journey with a bunch of Dollar Store pots and pans, dollar silverware and dollar dinnerware.

I did not stay that way for long.

Now that I’ve cooked three times a day every day for over a year I’ve learned a lot about cooking, about food, and about my tools.

I also learned that you can Google almost any food allergy and someone somewhere has posted a recipe that allows you to make an end run around your disability.

And I have learned that food you have cooked for yourself really does taste better.

So how did I learn to cook?

I read a lot. I experimented a lot. I made a lot of really insanely terrible meals. I got coconut oil on my laptop. I burned my arms and hands. I made messes. I took notes. I experimented.

In short, I jumped in, told fear and ignorance to f^ck off, and I learned by doing.

And you can, too.

My next blog will be a list blog of the tools I have refined my way down to for those interested in that…with the caveat that cooking is as personal as sex – we are all going to have different preferences.

So til then, keep on keeping on.

And remember no matter what you are doing to keep doing it. You will get better. It’s the people who give up or get embarrassed or who assume mistakes are somehow moral or intellectual flaws who actually miss out.


2 thoughts on “An Idiot Learns to Cook

  1. I have made my share of recipes that didn’t turn out anything like the picture with the recipe – but most of them were still edible. At least I learned what NOT to do πŸ™‚


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