Adventures in loft bedding.

Okay, yes, I am insane.

I have nocturia, Lyme disease, and am a seizure risk. Sometimes I get dizzy. I am also autistic and have the physical coordination issues that go along with that.

And I sleep six feet above the ground in a loft bed.

Well, you see the thing is, I am allergic to the cat and she can’t get up here with me, and I live in a very nice, very neat, and (and this is the important thing) very small house.

A a professional writer and researcher, I am actually a real space hog. Bookshelves, computer gear, notebooks, pens (dozens of them – I think they breed in the night), mailing supplies, clipboards, index cards, printer, cell phone, Kindle, take up a lot of space in themselves, and when you add my magazines, catalogs, autographed books from other authors, promo materials, a beater camera, research materials, souvenirs (including a fifteen pound piece of rough orange quartz given to me while researching geology for a four page short story, the jawbones of a deer and some feathers from a Windigo spree, randoms rough gemstones, a piece of marble counter top, glass beads, four eyeliner pencils from a performance of Tosca, random bits of sound gear from a guy who helped me write about DJs, a buckeye, a brass ring, a nine inch nail, and so on and so forth), things start to get seriously cluttered.

And my bedroom study is now a ten by ten cube.

Going vertical made a lot of sense.

So stackable shelves, nested drawers, and oh yes, the loft bed.

This 165 pound, eighty four piece, DIY monstrosity in stainless steel is a lurking hulking piece of very solid furniture. It took a full day to assemble, another hour to move after I discovered that I had somehow placed it so its legs covered both electrical outlets precisely, and is a real chore to “make”.

And just to add to the fun, I am, of course, a blanket person.

I have a thing for fuzzies. I touch them in stores. I stroke them in Walmart.

I frequently get odd looks.

At the moment my bed has seventeen blankets on it, and is neatly made.

I had to throw each blanket up one at a time, clamber up behind them, spread them, tuck them beneath the bottom railing in a half assed retaining system and repeat.

I recently discovered that the best way to deal with the blankets if I have to change one (unexpected allergy, too small, smells weird) that the best bet is to roll the offenders into a bedroll twinkie and bail them over the side.

I also use the nurses trick of making half the bed (top or bottom) if I need to add a layer lower down. I roll the top layer toward the head, spread the new blanket across the foot, roll the bedroll down on top of the spread part, pull up the unspread part, spread it and then unroll the twinkie.

I do all this carefully as the ceiling is a mere two feet up from the mattress and there is an additional challenge.

Did I mention the ceiling fan?

Yup. Ceiling fan. There is one overly large fan in every single room.

AND it has to be running!

Due to my very severe anaphylactic allergies I  have to keep my room ventilated at ALL times.

The blades don’t actually extend over the mattress but their tips do just cross the side rails. So lean out a touch too far to tuck a blanket and


Then there are bathroom breaks.

Ah yes, four a.m. the house is quiet and darker that an H.P. Lovecraft story. I wake up disoriented, and have to fish for glasses, epipen, and so on (on hooks on the wall above the pillow), clamber down the ladder ducking the ceiling fan, go do what I need to do (two very squeaky doors away), return to my room, clamber up the ladder, and go back to bed.

I must also not get hung up in the railings or tangled in the bedding.

So yes, a downer in my upper world.

So why do I do it?

For the space. My desk and file cabinets fit neatly into the space below and that clears eight square feet of floorspace and allows me to have my bookshelves and my storage towers.

For the air. It is very very warm in the winter. Hot air rises after all. I’ll flip the fan rotation come summer and be two feet below a breeze maker.

Because the cat has to stay on the floor.

Also because it is without a doubt the most comfortable bed I have ever had. It rocks very slightly and I find that soothing; it is dark, and safe from any easy attack or interruption, the rails lead to rounded humped edges in the blankets and a natural depression in the center – a people nest, and the lack of solid frame beneath the mattress lends it the comfort of a hammock.

It’s the best I’ve slept in years.

And the cleanest my room/study has been in decades.

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